| holy shit!? |
[Mar. 29th, 2009|11:28 pm] |
You know i forgot to mention my mom... and the bri breakup and a bunch of shit!
BUT dam! stuffs changed a lot since then!
The mom thing... well.. fuck... idk how to explain it...
my mom was taken away from me at 17... not by god or a car... but someone
not on accident, on purpose. No idea why or a motive but it was done and i cant seem to figure
out why this happened to a suburb mom at the age of 45. But she was taken and there's nothing i can do about it. The only thing i can think of is that god has a plan... its crazy and fucked up but its a plan. Me my dad little 13yr old brother reid and my 11 yr old sister crysta were left to carry on stronger then ever. if you think you can hurt my feelings or threaten me and scare me or try and break me down you probably cant because i've been through hell and back. Loss of mother due to violent crime= drunk dad! Depressed brother! and a lost confused attention deprived sister! So i was the only one who stopped crying and started fixing things. i pulled the family together single handedly and brought us back. We would have lost the house, everything we own and our LOVE! We already lost our mother, the car, and the biggest fill in our lives. So fuck you if you think you can hurt me now. I've been there done that shit.
Im a better man know,
almost a man.
no man is a man till he,
has a car house and most important
a family!
But im doing good, right now even in the economy shit hole i have 3 part time jobs,
office max, Jc carpet cleaning, and i umpire still.
im doing ok, dad is working with me at officemax and to be honest i like the company,
its really good to work with your dad when your trying to build a relationship back up,
not that we dont have one its just that after my mom we kinda broke down and went our ways,
he wasnt happy with me and i didnt like him, i dont know why but when someone takes away a mother you really have a reality check and even though you need all the help you can get you still push everyone away. For example i was lost i didnt know who to blame for my mother being gone. i blamed my dad neighbors anyone!
But its gods plan so were doing better as time goes. thank god for my friends at the time,
Most important was Craig Hudson, Eric Redman, and Brian M?.
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ANYWAYS! ABOUT MY LAST POST!
i didnt even know i wrote that!
sorry to bri for puttin that up about fuckin and shit but i was bein dumb
lol good times tho!
me and her broke up later in the year after about like what 3 months?
idk i really liked her and i really wanted it to work but idk it ended over a stupid argument about pot and i never ment to end it but i guess shit got missunderstood and it ended just before senior ball.
So since then ive dated a few girls, nothing to permeate but hey its life
with the work i have now i have no time anyways,
i hope to post more often not that anyone reads these but because i wanna remember shit from back in the day when im older.
if you do read this let me know,
brantdbart@aim.com lol email me. |
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| New love! |
[Apr. 12th, 2008|10:43 pm] |
New love! OK so been a while ima f-ing looser! but i kinda ran into this girl named brianna sanchez! and well idk hasnt been two weeks and we already had sex and what not! f-ing! love her! she just clicks and everything with me and my family, and same with me and her family they love me i love them it just works, even tho im still getting to know her i think we can get serious, cuz idk i have a feeling about this one, fuck the other drama in all the other journals, fuck them this ones diff and i dont know how to explain it in words, just look at the m&m wrapper on you wall and you just get it ya know? you hold two hearts around your neck, mine and yours, both on the same chain. they cant be separated without breaking one of them, so dont break mine! plz! i love you! |
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| hey just got back again |
[Jul. 7th, 2007|01:49 pm] |
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another yr trip up to angel camp no stingrays this yr, but instead a beautiful lake with perfect water and a ton of boats to go out on. canoes kyaks and a ton of games there was great food omg it was ribs and all kinds of things to eat tons of junk food like cookies and crap it was awsome, lil sun burn nice tan, giant beard and a ton of friends, everyone in our group was awsome, colby, dilan, ben, ryan, evan, ethan, collin, josh, chris, chad, adam, ahh it was great soo much fun |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 25th, 2007|07:02 am] |
well today is 2 days past me and stevies 5th month-o-verstry but we broke up a lil while back cuz she cheated on me and i havent talk to her since. well yesterday something cool happened, which is why im writing today, i almost forgot about my journal cuz its been a while, but i was hanging out with the all time love of my life. yea andrea, the girl i will never get over, my frist love, my first real gf, my first one and everything. so i was hanging out with her yesterday and well it brought back hella memories and i want them back. so im going to keep talking to her and mabey she will give me a second try. mabey i can get back with her. i lov her hella still and i just want to get back what i had. i'll keep writing in this and i'll talk to you later. peace! |
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| feeling good |
[Mar. 24th, 2007|01:30 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | living room | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  cheerful | ] |
| [ | music |
| | non =..( | ] |
well yester day was me and stevies 3 month-o-versery lol, im such a kid, but my parents are getting back together and my life is going back to normal/better ya know. i love her with all my heart more than any other girl, shes just perfect for me, and its not like i love her for sexual things, cuz were straight and havent done anything like that lol. i lov her and my family and my life. and my friends i love my friends. i love you all and im really happy in my life right now, i hope nothing goes wrong. ooo and now im a stong beliving chirstan. lol i lov christ. lol |
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| lifes pretty good |
[Jan. 20th, 2007|01:05 pm] |
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no idea about my parents they are getting along but its not fo show what they are going to do. me and stevie are still together and i love her with all my heart. im soo happy, we had a bit of a fight/scare the other day but its not enough to break us up. im sooo happy she dosnt even know how happy i am! i lov her, better than any gf i've ever had. and its not cuz shes a slut, cuz shes not, she just makes me feel good, the way she talks to me and treats me, ima god to her. and shes my goddest, lol if that make sence. i lov her and its cool lol but fuck cj! i fuckin hate him will all my heart im going to fuck him up cuz hes just a asshole and hes the only thing separating us! fuck cj! |
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| bad bad mood! |
[Dec. 31st, 2006|04:33 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  angry | ] |
well its been a while since i last wrote. so far my parents are trying to get back together and work things out. fun fun, umm still kinda havein girl troubles. i have a gf right now whos dating my friend but trying to break up with him, but hes suicidel. so she has to let him down slowly idk, plus im flirting behind her back with sara and breana roach. big time no no. but o well who cares. im lost and confused. idk whats goin on latly, so freakin confusing. but o well lol i hate andrea now shes a bitch, she stoped talking to me all together and gave up our friendship cuz her bf told her to. shes stupid i hope they break up and shes single forever and has no friends and lives what i lived. but thats just me. ok bye! |
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| sadness |
[Nov. 1st, 2006|10:12 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  numb | ] |
| [ | music |
| | 106.5 | ] |
WELL not a whole lot goin down right now. parents are still divorcing and my dad kinda has a job. he now sells insurance. lol but ya i kinda told one girl i liked her but she dosnt like me,
X still dosnt like me plus now has a bf. girl who did like me dosnt. i have no idea what to do. but ya boring life slowly spiraling downward. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 24th, 2006|04:04 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | bed | ] |
| [ | mood |
| | disappointed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | hurt | ] |
wow interesting week. not a hole lot still missin that one girl. its been way way to long. shes a uncurable disease! lol but ya parents are still divorcing and a ton of fighting. hate life/kinda. not goin to kill myself tho i promise. lol but ya tryin to make it threw. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 5th, 2006|11:47 am] |
ya............. ummmm not much to write. still soooooo confused with girls. ya see the thing is i counted 15 girls at my school who have told me they want to hook up with me. but i dont really want them. i have my mind wraped around one girl. one girl that chances are i wont get to date AGAIN! ya see the thing is, i already dated her. but still idk what it is about her. but id do anything to be with her. ANYTHING! but alot of ppl dont like her, including my dad. and one of my friends jessica. im not the titest with jess but still shes my friend. and the other girls name is andrea. yes andrea, my little crush since 6th grade. i dont want to say i love her cuz i dont want to. i've been trying to get over her since we broke up, like 3 months ago. but i cant and i dont think i will. we broke up over something stupid. she didnt understand what it was that i wanted. plus i didnt help it. but still idk i've been talkin to her every now and then on myspace and the phone. she called me like 3 days ago and i was just so happy talkin to her. it was great. just to hear her voice was amazing. it brought back so many memorize it was great. and then she hung up and i felt kinda sad. i would be on the phone with her the minute she got home but i dont have her numnber anymore. when we broke up i deleted it. and i wish i hadent. but not im trying to get her number and no one has it and no one wants to give it to me. i'll probley get it off my bestest bud eric, as soon as i see him, i havent talked to him in a few days. but i'll go see him and find out if he has it. but untill then im just goin to be crushing on her. and its not like i cant ask her for it, i could, if she ever gets on her myspace. ya see she told me her computer was broken and she couldnt get on her computer, she said she would have wrote me back but she cant log on, her comp is just broke. and i should have asked her for her number when she was talkin to me but i was just to happy to think. plus my little bro was bugging me while i was on the phone. he was running around making noises and when i went outside and he fallowed and he was just bugging me. and then yesterday i went to pracitice with my little brother and OMG im sooo sore. we played indian ball which is you hit the ball as far as you can and thats just about it. then the outfielders try to catch the ball and your out. no running or anything it was weird. but then when we were done with that we had to run a mile and then do some stretches, which hurt. and then some more drills. and wow im sore. i havent played baseball in a while. i was good. i hit the 300ft fence 4 times. but i never got it over so i never got a home runn. but other than that not much goin on. my dad is telling me if i date andrea and my life starts goin down hill hes goin to be very mad at me. he thinks if i date her. then im goin to start fighting with him and causing problems, but thats not goin to happen and i dont know y he thinks that. but hey i think this entry is long enought dont you think. lol untill next time then, peace foo! |
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acelover's journal